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Have you ever had to deal with insults? How did you handle it? As leaders, we are in positions where insults and criticism are not only common, they are expected. Dr. Tom Wilson once said “the further up the pole the monkey goes, the more you see his tail.” What he meant was, leaders are exposed to criticism; but even so, sometimes insults can surprise us completely. Even expecting the arrival of insults can’t always soften the blow. Facing insults and criticism is never fun. But regardless of the circumstances or specifics, we always get to decide how to respond. Our reaction is just as telling about us as the insult is about the person who said it. As leaders, we have to figure out how to handle insults professionally and appropriately. Carly Fiorina is seeking the Republican nomination for the Presidential Election in 2016. The relationships between the candidates have been less than pleasant, to put it nicely. Business Insider reported that an opponent responded to a question about Fiorina by saying, “Look at that face…Would anyone vote for that?” I was impressed with the way Fiorina responded to the insults, both during and following the debates. Fiorina turned an insult into a catalyst that is furthering her campaign. Here are six ways to take a page from Fiorina’s book and turn an insult into a catalyst for greatness:- Recognize the source of the insults. Carly Fiorina didn’t ignore the insults; instead, she recognized the source. There are certain people you expect insults from. Understand that insults are more revealing of the person saying them than they are of the person they are directed toward.
- Don’t take it to heart. The key to overcoming an insult is to not take it to heart. When we are attacked personally, it would be easy to allow those words to shake us to our very core. If we allow it, negative and insulting words can destroy our motivation, drive, and understanding of our purpose.
- Make a positive affirmation about yourself. When we are insulted, it would be easy, to fall back into obscurity and go silent. Don’t hide from or denounce parts of yourself. Make a positive affirmation about yourself and you will rob the insult of its power. Here it is in her words, “Ladies, look at this face.” She continued, “This is the face of a 61-year-old woman. I am proud of every year and every wrinkle.”
- Look for the High Road. It would be easy to respond to insults by spearing the other person with insults of our own. Instead of doing this, Fiorina took the high road and chose not to respond in the same manner in which she was insulted. One of the most influential behaviors we can have is to look the person insulting us in the eyes, smile and move forward.
- Don’t give in to the negative cheerleaders. There will always be people trying to convince you to nurse your wounds and stay angry. Do your best not to give into these people. The issue will only grow if you allow it to. Avoid the drama.
- Turn it into a positive. People Magazine recently released a copy of the ad published by The Carly for America Committee entitled, Look at That Face. The ad’s perspective was to encourage women across America and remind others that women are the majority in America. The ad ended with Fiorina speaking a positive affirmation about not only herself but to other women.
