I love the first few sessions I have with new clients. I like to spend some time up front getting to know one another, which builds trust and a foundation for our coaching relationship. We always begin with an Everything DiSC Work of Leaders assessment, which we then process and talk through during our first session. One of the reasons I love this opportunity is because each leader is so radically different. As we work through the leadership profile, we both learn something new; both about one another and about ourselves. Working through this tool is such a priority because I believe that to lead out of your strengths, you must first become aware of them. You have to know yourself before you can effectively lead anyone else. One of the first questions I ask my clients is this: How do you show up? This is really a question of identity. I am not asking what their job title is or what their responsibilities are, I already know the answers to those questions. What I am asking is who they are and how they interact with the world around them. Position and platforms change frequently; your identity, on the other hand, is consistent. The core of who you are is the driving force behind your success. If you want to find success in your career, you must first discover who you are. The problem for many leaders, however, is that their identity gets lost in their position. I have worked with church leaders for the entirety of my career. I have noticed that the healthiest and most productive leaders are those that have invested in themselves and their personal development. They have friends and mentors that do not attend their churches; they have hobbies and outlets that enable them to express themselves outside of their job. The healthiest leaders know who they are and protect their identity from getting lost in their career. Don’t get me wrong, being committed to and invested in your career is a good thing! The drive and work ethic that is required to find success are a part of who you are, but your identity has a greater value than anything you could accomplish. You are not defined or determined by the tasks that are completed in a day. Your value does not change, nor is it determined by outward success. Your identity is determined by your values, your passion, and your presence. It is consistent, steady, and always important. Who you are is more important than what you do. And although your identity is not determined by your success, your success is, in fact, determined by your identity. You can only lead out of who you are; you cannot be someone else. You cannot model your leadership based on someone else because they have a different identity! You can glean wisdom and follow advice, but at the end of the day you have to lead out of the core of who you are. I truly believe that you were created for this moment. You were given talents and abilities that will help you succeed. You’ve got this! This is not a question of ability, but identity. Who are you? How do you show up? Knowing the answers to these questions is the first step to discovering your identity and finding success.
Coaching Questions:
- How do you show up?
- What are the factors in your life that determine your identity?
- What is one thing you can do today to begin to discover who you are?
